In 10 days our family will have been in Iowa for a year. Here is our year in review.
The drive
Parents: "You are going to love Iowa, kids!"
Child 1: "What language do they speak in Iowa?"
Dad: "They speak English"
Child 2: "Oh no, we have to learn to speak English?"
Child 1: "Why did dad have to get a job in another country?"
Child 3: "Do you think there are any girls my age in Iowa?"
Mid June
Child 2: "This is just like a vacation."
Mom: "Yep, 6 people living out of suitcases and access to an outdoor pool."
Child 1: "We even have cable!"
Child 3: "I just met a friend and she is my age!"
Child 4: Runs around laughing
Dad: "Lets go out to dinner to celebrate."
All in Unison: "This is great!"
Late June
Takes Place in Southern California:
Mom: "I'm glad our house sold yesterday and we are having this great vacation."
Dad: "Sorry, I'm late. The interstate to the Omaha airport was closed while authorities waited for a tornado to pass, fortunately my flight was delayed"
Mom: "Not a problem. Please pick up the rental car. My drivers license is expired."
Child 3: "Guess what! I got lost at the beach yesterday, but I found a lifeguard."
Two days later:
Mom, Kids & Nice man who has never changed a tire without help from roadside assistance, but let family use his driveway for this purpose: "Uh oh."
Child 1: "These tire changing instructions look like Lego instructions"
[Less than two hours later]
Mom & Kids: "I am glad we said a prayer. We changed a tire, returned the rental van and caught our flight just in time!"
July
Mom walks into apartment and vomits. Repeats for 2 months.
Parents wonder if previous tenants did drugs.
Dad insists landlord clean green stuff out of vents
Mom insists family find a house ASAP
August
Dad: "This gravel road reminds me of growing up in the middle of nowhere"
Mom: "Only with really tall corn stalks instead of mountains"
Kids: "Why do we have to look for houses every day?"
[Our minivan collides with a pickup at an unconrolled intersection]
Mom: "Is every one okay?"
Child 4: cries
Child 3: "That hurt"
Child 1: "I must have blacked out"
Child 2: "Let's never do that again."
Dad: "How did my glasses end up outside?
September
Child 2: "Hillside is the best school, ever!"
Child 3: "I am learning Spanish"
Child 1: "I am learning to play violin"
Child 3: "Whine whine" Translation: "I am too young for full day kindergarten."
Child 4: "Whine whine whine whine" Translation: "I want to go to school too."
October
Mom: "I found a house I want to buy"
Dad: "Yes, dear."
[offer gets accepted]
Dad: "I can't pay that much for a house"
Mom: "Yes, dear."
[$1,000 earnest money lost]
Dad: "That was a waste of money."
Mom: "There are couples who have spent more to learn to communicate with each other."
Late October
Child 1: "I like beggers night"
Child 4: "I like sugar"
Child 3: "What happened to my candy?"
[Pockets filled with candy slows Child 4's escape from Child 3]
November
Dad: "We are true Iowans, we voted!"
Child 3: "At school we had a pretend election"
Child 2: "We voted for Obama"
Child 1: "Because that is who Grandpa would vote for"
Mom: "Won't grandpa be surprised"
December
Stranger: "Do you own a GrandPrix?"
Mom: "Yes"
Stranger: "It's on fire"
[Dad meets police and firefighters outside. Mom answers ringing phone]
Mom into phone: "I need to go. My car is on fire"
January
[Parents arrive at Mercy Hospital in time for contractions to stop]
Doctor.: "Where are your other kids?"
Mom: "With a friend. Well, she was my friend. I don't know if she will want to be after watching my kids for the night."
[1 1/2 hours later]
Baby: cries*
*to hear baby cry go to February post
February
Mom: "I really like this house."
Mom: "Are we planning to stay in an apartment forever?"
Mom: "Grumble grumble grumble HOUSE mumble"
Dad: "You know, I like that house."
March
[Family moves into new house]
Child 3: "I want the bedroom that locks from the outside"
Child 3 locks herself in bedroom
Children 1,2&4: laugh and walk away
April
Dad sends GPS with mom to funeral in California.
Mom learns driving in Southern California is nothing like the movies.
Mom and GPS become friends.
May
Child 2 brings home a mothers day gift with "I love yoy" written on in. The letter Y is crossed out and the letter U is written above it.
Mom: "Did your teacher correct the spelling on your mothers day project?"
Child 2: "No, I did that."
Mom: "In that case, I love yoy too!"
Dad brings home flowers with "I love yoy" written on the card.
Our family begins greeting each other with "I love yoy."
The drive
Parents: "You are going to love Iowa, kids!"
Child 1: "What language do they speak in Iowa?"
Dad: "They speak English"
Child 2: "Oh no, we have to learn to speak English?"
Child 1: "Why did dad have to get a job in another country?"
Child 3: "Do you think there are any girls my age in Iowa?"
Mid June
Child 2: "This is just like a vacation."
Mom: "Yep, 6 people living out of suitcases and access to an outdoor pool."
Child 1: "We even have cable!"
Child 3: "I just met a friend and she is my age!"
Child 4: Runs around laughing
Dad: "Lets go out to dinner to celebrate."
All in Unison: "This is great!"
Late June
Takes Place in Southern California:
Mom: "I'm glad our house sold yesterday and we are having this great vacation."
Dad: "Sorry, I'm late. The interstate to the Omaha airport was closed while authorities waited for a tornado to pass, fortunately my flight was delayed"
Mom: "Not a problem. Please pick up the rental car. My drivers license is expired."
Child 3: "Guess what! I got lost at the beach yesterday, but I found a lifeguard."
Two days later:
Mom, Kids & Nice man who has never changed a tire without help from roadside assistance, but let family use his driveway for this purpose: "Uh oh."
Child 1: "These tire changing instructions look like Lego instructions"
[Less than two hours later]
Mom & Kids: "I am glad we said a prayer. We changed a tire, returned the rental van and caught our flight just in time!"
July
Mom walks into apartment and vomits. Repeats for 2 months.
Parents wonder if previous tenants did drugs.
Dad insists landlord clean green stuff out of vents
Mom insists family find a house ASAP
August
Dad: "This gravel road reminds me of growing up in the middle of nowhere"
Mom: "Only with really tall corn stalks instead of mountains"
Kids: "Why do we have to look for houses every day?"
[Our minivan collides with a pickup at an unconrolled intersection]
Mom: "Is every one okay?"
Child 4: cries
Child 3: "That hurt"
Child 1: "I must have blacked out"
Child 2: "Let's never do that again."
Dad: "How did my glasses end up outside?
September
Child 2: "Hillside is the best school, ever!"
Child 3: "I am learning Spanish"
Child 1: "I am learning to play violin"
Child 3: "Whine whine" Translation: "I am too young for full day kindergarten."
Child 4: "Whine whine whine whine" Translation: "I want to go to school too."
October
Mom: "I found a house I want to buy"
Dad: "Yes, dear."
[offer gets accepted]
Dad: "I can't pay that much for a house"
Mom: "Yes, dear."
[$1,000 earnest money lost]
Dad: "That was a waste of money."
Mom: "There are couples who have spent more to learn to communicate with each other."
Late October
Child 1: "I like beggers night"
Child 4: "I like sugar"
Child 3: "What happened to my candy?"
[Pockets filled with candy slows Child 4's escape from Child 3]
November
Dad: "We are true Iowans, we voted!"
Child 3: "At school we had a pretend election"
Child 2: "We voted for Obama"
Child 1: "Because that is who Grandpa would vote for"
Mom: "Won't grandpa be surprised"
December
Stranger: "Do you own a GrandPrix?"
Mom: "Yes"
Stranger: "It's on fire"
[Dad meets police and firefighters outside. Mom answers ringing phone]
Mom into phone: "I need to go. My car is on fire"
January
[Parents arrive at Mercy Hospital in time for contractions to stop]
Doctor.: "Where are your other kids?"
Mom: "With a friend. Well, she was my friend. I don't know if she will want to be after watching my kids for the night."
[1 1/2 hours later]
Baby: cries*
*to hear baby cry go to February post
February
Mom: "I really like this house."
Mom: "Are we planning to stay in an apartment forever?"
Mom: "Grumble grumble grumble HOUSE mumble"
Dad: "You know, I like that house."
March
[Family moves into new house]
Child 3: "I want the bedroom that locks from the outside"
Child 3 locks herself in bedroom
Children 1,2&4: laugh and walk away
April
Dad sends GPS with mom to funeral in California.
Mom learns driving in Southern California is nothing like the movies.
Mom and GPS become friends.
May
Child 2 brings home a mothers day gift with "I love yoy" written on in. The letter Y is crossed out and the letter U is written above it.
Mom: "Did your teacher correct the spelling on your mothers day project?"
Child 2: "No, I did that."
Mom: "In that case, I love yoy too!"
Dad brings home flowers with "I love yoy" written on the card.
Our family begins greeting each other with "I love yoy."
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